School Bullies: We Have No One To Blame But Ourselves08/02/2012
Editor's Note: This Community Voice is in response to a recent Civil Beat story, School Bullies: Hawaii Still Struggling To Help Tormented Kids.
Regarding School Bullies and the statement that "The Legislature has tried for years to do something to address the issue."
Trying to legislate a social norm? "Fail"
Please ... come on.
Hawaii is full of bullies, and not just in the schools. If you look at the school bullies, I bet you find that half of their parents are bullies as well.
Being a "bully" is a taught skill. People don't just wake up one morning and snap, they are a bully. That mindset is cultivated, grown and groomed. To be a true oppressor, you have to practice it and have a good instructor to learn the skill from.
I would argue that most bullies don't even know they are bullies because the lifestyle is so engrained into their psyche its as normal as breathing air. You are trying to legislate and correct something where the party at fault does not even know something is wrong. And when you try to tell them, you will be met with agitation and anger.
That selfish, self centered, "I'm a tough guy don't mess with me" - "It's All About Me" - "talk to the hand" - "WHAT you looking at ?" - "AiNoKea" - "Look what you made me do" - "you like scrap ?"
(sarcastically) Why is this even an issue? We glorify violence and bullies at every opportunity. MMA, WWF, NWO. "Pimp My Ride", "Pimp My Web Page", "Pimp My profile." Pimps, the epitome of disrespect and uselessness is sought after and glorified as if they have something special that the rest of us all want.
And you can find bullying at every level of our state.
Our Mayor refers to our homeless as worse than a rat infestation and no one bats an eye.
We pass laws to "clear the sidewalks" that take and destroy the last worldly possessions of people, and instead of outrage we all raise our fists in the air and say "Its about time!"
Someone earns more money than the average person, and "we should tax them more."
Someone falls asleep from exhaustion and instead of helping we give them a ticket and fine.
We have dozens of completely, socially and morally useless, reality TV shows that are all about being the best bully one can be or at minimum depicting bullies as normal lifestyle, and we can't watch enough of the trash.
Then we have the hypocrites that try to convince the world there is no God - no absolute standard of right and wrong - That we are all just products of evolution, but then turn around and cry cry that that don’t want bullies. The basic definition of a bully is "One who is habitually cruel to others who are weaker." Which is pretty much the mandate of evolution, that only the strong shall survive and the weak shall be exterminated.
Try this: How about make up your minds?
Choose: Do you want to promote violence? Or do you want to promote a life of harmony? That old saying, you are what you eat. Well, you are also what you expose yourself to and surround yourself with. As long as we continue to glorify selfishness and violence, "we are what we eat." One of my favorite quotes is : "Nothing is so strong as gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as true strength." A truly strong person does not need to prove it, they already know it. And in knowing it, it shows clearly through their actions.
There is this story of "some guy" in the past that understood this too:
"It was about 1797, that Kamehameha the Great declared that within his aupuni, the innocent and defenseless shall be safe from unprovoked attack, even from his own chiefs." In the time of Kamehameha the Great, few leaders anywhere in the world paid that much attention to the safety of their people. That is one reason why this law is considered the most important royal edict of his reign.
The whole "what to do about bullies" is really one of a spiritual and philosophical question. What do you believe in? The answer to that question should pretty much define your expectations what to do about bullies.
About the author: Curtis Kropar is a longtime Honolulu resident and the executive director of Hawaiian Hope, a technology-based nonprofit organization.